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Too Adorable Not to Share


black_childrenWe’ve all heard tales of the divine yet candid wisdom of children. A child’s mind knows enough about the world to have an opinion on it and remains pure enough that we can assume the absolute best of their intentions. So naturally, I laughed aloud when I stumbled on Chris Hughes’ “How Do You Decide Who to Marry”, from the mouths of babes. But it simultaneously provoked thought and held insight. Their truth is contagious. So without further adieu, enjoy!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

by Chris Hughes 

A group of young kids were asked how to decide who to marry and here are the results which are pretty amusing.

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
Kids-Say-the-Darndest-Things-Cosby-Bill-9780553581263HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead Brothers Arm in Armcolumns.
-Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8
little-black-childIS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
– Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10

Movie Review: Tyler Perry’s ‘Temptation’ Falls Titillatingly & Alarmingly Short


**This review contains revealing details from the movie “Temptation”. If you have not seen it, reading this post will feel a lot like when you go see something with a friend who’s already seen it and they keep telling you to “watch this!” Therefore, continue at your own risk.

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There are a lot of things to hate about this movie and Tyler Perry’s now infamous creative style in general. The preachy church-people-are-good-everyone-else-is-a-demon rhetoric. The fact that I can pretty much rely on a “sexy” guy taking his shirt off at least once (whether it’s for our enjoyment or his, well that’s still up for debate). And the awkwardness of his continual overuse of close-up shots. Yet somehow, the trailers drew me in (mind you, I’ve been boycotting Tyler Perry films for the last 3 years). The thought of Jurnee Smollet-Bell caught in a love triangle seemed wickedly out of character for Perry. But it turns out the exact opposite is true. What I find most disturbing this time around with “Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor” is how unsexy he makes a movie about sex. And how eagerly the black community accepts this depiction.

The movie starts out predictably though promisingly with a marriage counselor telling what sounds like a cautionary tale to a pre-adulterous wife. Then we’re swept into the endearing young Love of high school sweet hearts Judith and Brice (Jurnee Smollet-Bell and Lance Gross). But as the reality of delayed dreams and marital malcontent sink in, so do her spirits. Smollet-Bell plays a convincing awkward and “forgettable” 2o-something who knows very little about herself or her body–let alone what’s needed to keep a marriage together. So things quickly heat up when tech-savvy pseudo-playboy/knight in shining armor, Harley (Robbie Jones), capitalizes mostly on Judith’s sexual inexperience. Throw in some line from Harley about people “having sex like animals” (I was fanning myself), a classic sexual-tension filled elevator scene, an unwittingly neglectful husband, and you’ve got yourself the makings of a titillating affair!

temptationOnly, that is of course until Perry throws us an alarming curve ball. Judith and Harley end up alone on Harley’s private plane–a business trip serving as the perfect opportunity for him to make his move on a married woman. But Judith persistently pushes his advances away. She clearly says “no”. She clearly says “stop”. Harley forces himself on her a bit harder, however. So much so that Judith actually has to fight him off. To which Harley aggressively grips her up and sternly replies “Stop! Now you can say you resisted”. And then proceeds to have sex with her without her consent. I’m sorry, maybe I am crazy, but that is called rape where I’m from. And suddenly the tide’s low again if you know what I mean. There’s nothing sexy, steamy, or arousing about rape. Judith seems to agree with me and goes home crying and screaming at Harley to never call her again. Those are not the actions of a woman who willingly steps out on her husband to fulfill a sexual longing not met at home.

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The movie never treats it like a rape though and soon Judith’s under Harley’s spell. It is not completely uncommon for a rape victim to fall in Love with her rapist. So I suppose this wasn’t completely far-fetched. However, Harley begins exhibiting even more abusive behaviors. He introduces her to hard drugs, separates her from the people who Love her, and whoops her ass. As if that wasn’t enough to punish the philandering harlot, we learn at the end of the movie that Harley gives Judith HIV. BUT Perry never portrays Judith as a victim. Even though Melinda (Brandy Norwood), Harley’s ex-girlfriend, plays the I’ve-had-a-hard-life-so-now-I-don’t-trust-anyone victim role so well Melinda’s boss mistakes her for a lesbian. Wait, what? So the girl who willingly got involved with Harley in college is a victim and we should feel sorry for her but the married woman who gets raped by him is a whore? So what’s the moral of the story here ladies? If you’re stupid enough to catch the attention of another man besides your lazy husband, Jesus will hate you, you will get raped, contract HIV, and die. Oh wait, no my bad. Melinda wasn’t a victim either. She deserved HIV because she didn’t protect herself when she knew Harley cheated on her. That’s right, I forgot. What was I thinking?

tp new movieWhat started out as a seductive fantasy soon turned into a right-wing conservative sexual education lesson in a hick town with a ban on contraceptives. And I’m ashamed to admit this but most of the people in the theater, my people, seemed to like it. Maybe they were jut taking the film at face-value. That’s cool I guess. But when you’ve got the power to speak and a good portion of your community listens, you have a responsibility to watch what you say. I mean does Perry have any positive feelings about sex? From the messages in this film, it certainly doesn’t seem so. Good thing not all of us are so easily duped by a well-placed hallelujah. Uh uh. Try again Mr. Perry. Or better yet, do us all a favor, and don’t. Ever. Again.

Is There Really a Black Marriage Decline?


SingleBlackMale.org post asks the question Is There Really a Black Marriage Decline?. The writer does his own research and finds that the real issue may simply be that black men and women are choosing to get married much later than we used to. Why do you think that is? Thoughts?

Considering Tying the Knot?


Today, black people have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the US.

Marriage. In a society where nearly 50% of them fail, just saying the word can induce a migraine. The first thing it makes me think of is yelling, fighting, and custody. Admittedly, though, I am a child of divorce and have seen mostly marriage’s not-so-pretty side. Then there are the racial statistics that increase the risk of marriage failure if your skin is darker. And nowadays–if you’re black American–the chances of you actually ever getting married are pretty slim. But despite all the bad press, every so often I run into two people that make it seem like the greatest thing in the world. And that is the beauty of marriage, the mystery behind the “M” word–when it works it’s amazing and when it doesn’t work it’s hell.

So what makes a marriage work? Well I asked people and I did some research online. But that only brought up more questions. What is it exactly? Why do people do it? Why don’t people do it? What does it look like when it’s working? What does it look like when it’s failing? Does it only exist in these two extremes–blossoming or failing? Or do some people have average marriages?

As I began to dissect this marriage thing, I started to feel like the man in the yellow hat might come to claim me at any moment (that was a very clever Curious George reference just in case you didn’t get it!) Hopefully this particular curiosity does not kill me, however. Well I guess curiosity doesn’t really kill monkeys, just cats. But I digress. Since this marriage thing could go in so many directions, I wanted basics for now. I figured the best thing to do was ask Google “what should I know before getting married?” And voila. I stumbled upon a little guide from a guy who calls himself “dumb little man.” And his writing style is so exquisitely simple that I had to share it with my readers that might be just as curious as me about life after dating. So here is dumb little man’s “Things to Consider Before Getting Married.”

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