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Just A Thought…”Why I Believe that Soul Mates Don’t Exist”


Why I Believe that Soul Mates Don't Exist | BlackandMarriedWithKids.com

Darius Lovehall: Romance is about the possibility of the thing. You see, it’s about the time between when you first meet the woman, and when you first make love to her; When you first ask a woman to marry you, and when she says I do. When people who been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is they’ve exhausted the possibility.

If you’re anything like me at all, when you hear titles of articles like Aja Dorsey Jackson’s Why I Believe that Soul Mates Don’t Exist you instantly cringe. And yet upon clicking, and then reading, I found that I agree with most of what she’s saying. Jackson seeks to point out to people that there’s not a single individual on earth you will meet that instantly zaps the need to work at compatibility. And the idea that such a person even exists gnaws at the very root of relationships. Jackson gives a very real and pragmatic way to look at things. This blog also advocates heavily for practical and logical approaches to Love and dating. So I’m not mad at her for writing this.

At the same time though,  I don’t think the idea of having to put in work in a relationship and the idea of soul mates are mutually exclusive. Let’s think back to the first couple–no, not Obama and Michelle–but, Adam and Eve. God created Eve specifically as a helper to Adam by stealing his rib while he slept. The very word “woman”, in fact, means to come from man. Now this is no intentional disrespect to my same sex couples but the general theory is that subsequently God created every Eve with an Adam in mind. And he created Adam knowing Eve was coming. To me, the idea of soul mates refers to the creation of one soul with another soul in mind. And maybe some are actually blessed enough to meet that soul in their human life. I think it is possible. That possibility makes life and Love exciting and romantic. It keeps us motivated to go out there and suffer through the hardships of dating. You see, to quote the wise brother Darius from “Love Jones“, “Romance is about the possibility of the thing…when people who been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is that they’ve exhausted the possibility”. Right now, I’m Living for the possibility that Mr. Right is the right one created by God with me in mind. And because I’ll never really know until I’m done with this life, that possibility can be endless if we want it to be and if we work for it to be. So let’s be smart about Love black folk–meaning we do the WORK involved in it to sustain it. But just because we’re working at it, let’s not exhaust the possibility of the thing.

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The Last Letter from the Editor: And It All Leads Up to This…


IMG950508To My Beautiful, Glorious, Courageous, and Intuitive Readers:

You read the title correctly. This will be my last letter directly to you on this blog :(…I know some of you are thinking it’s been months since I wrote a real post anyways and now I’m writing to tell you I’m almost done writing. Tis true. And that’s partly because of the summer. Something about the summer makes it difficult for me to buckle down and write. But the other part of me was debating whether I would continue this blog at all. Or pass it along to someone else. Just when it was starting to get good, just when I was starting to see so much growth and improvement, just when I started to take this blogging thing more seriously–c’est la fin! Well, nearing the end. I think I’ve got about two more solid posts in me. But I guess that’s life. And I’m not mad about it. Because all this debacle has been for a great reason. I promise!!! You ready for this? Are you sitting down?

Last month, Mr. Right-For-Now proposed to me under a glorious sunset by the water. I said yes! I’ll never forget it was on the same day of the George Zimmerman verdict–simultaneously the most beautiful and ugliest day I’ve experienced to date. We were at a bar celebrating when we found out the news. Fortunately, it takes more than one asshole running free for murder to put a stop to life, to put a stop to PROGRESSION. So we are planning an elegant broom jumping ceremony in my favorite season–Fall of 2014. Which makes me his future Mrs. Right Forever. And as I’m fully enthralled in this new phase of Love–engagement–it seems the old persona is gone. The woman who started this blog 3 years ago in search of something real after finding so much rubbish has found solid gold. And I plan to cash in while I can!! Therefore, I must say farewell and THANK YOU to all the LOVELY people who made this incredible journey possible.  You laughed with me. You cussed him out with me. You made up with him with me. You grew with me. You bettered yourselves as I bettered myself. You challenged me. You encouraged me. For 3 years.

100MEDIA$IMAG0325Now I’m here in this wonderfully beautiful new place. I am fully present–watching and learning STILL as engagement brings new things to light. I remember asking one of my girlfriends if I should do something for Mr. Right-For-Now in return–as a gift or as some type of gratitude for the proposal. And she said ever-so-wisely to me “no. I think you’ve done enough!” And I just smiled to myself. Because I understood her so clearly. The man got down on one knee and told me he couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be than with me for life. I had certainly done enough–at least for now. No more improvements. No more strategies. No more working night and day on being the best girlfriend/fiancée/future wife ever. For now, I’m just resting in my excitement for us! I’m resting in my contentment! And enjoying planning a wedding (AHHHHHH!). I thought about doing a new blog series for you guys on engagement–and maybe I will write a piece on it. But it’s such an intimate experience and much of this blog comes out of my willingness to fully disclose my shortcomings and championships as they happen. Now, I want to focus on living in each and every one of these moments with my future hubby–staying grounded, attentive, and in-tune with myself. This is the last year I have as a “single” woman and I’d like to have it to myself as selfish as that may sound. Hopefully, you understand where I’m coming from though. Because it feels good to say I have done enough.

Of course I still want to continue bettering myself and learning as much as I can about relationships. Someone once told me, “marriage is not the destination. It is a journey”, suggesting that many women get the ring and believe that is the ultimate validation. I do not want to imply that at all. I’m definitely not done progressing just because he proposed. But my mission has changed just a tad from when I started on here.

I believe that Black Love is the cure for many of our community’s afflictions. So I would Love to transition to a blog talking about Black marriage, Black families, and issues related to how my Black community can achieve more wholeness. I did that IMG950509 (1)here. Somewhat. However, the time has come, I think, for a stronger platform–especially in light of things like the lack of justice for Trayvon! So this is goodbye for now. It is the easiest goodbye I’ve ever said. Not because I don’t Love you. But because our time is nearly up.  When you know your time is up, you’ve got to make room for new things. And because I’ve given you guys so much of me–so much of us–that’s always here on these pages for you to access, it’s not really a goodbye at all. From first date to proposal, I leave you my Love legacy. So when you’re having a rough dating day and you just want to give up, remember me on your Black Love journeys. Remember that Black Love is better when it’s real. And it IS real. We are proof. Remember that good Black guys sometimes win. And they win big!! Remember that Black women can and DO marry and stay happily married–even in the midst of social networks, people living like they’re auditioning for reality TV shows, and booty calls that come way too easily. Remember that no labor of Love goes unrewarded. The universe is waiting to unfold all it’s greatness on you!

Stay tuned for my last few posts. Enjoy them as much as I have enjoyed writing them. Then, keep me in your heart as you guys are always in mine. Learning to Love like this has been my greatest accomplishment to date. And I hope I’ve inspired some of you to pursue that same path. Because Love never fails!

Sincerely yours,

The blogger formerly known as “Ms. Not-Right-Now” hehe

P.S. For my truest of fans, keep a lookout for my rebirth because there will be one. Suddenly, I have a new found understanding of why we all had to suffer through Puff Daddy becoming Puffy and then P. Diddy and then just Diddy. As I recreate myself and my brand, I will have to change names. Don’t worry though. Me and this writing thing, we go way back. And we ain’t done yet!

 

Love Like This

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Queenie K is new to the revolutionary concept of Love. As she grows and matures in the revolution, she looks to strengthen and refine her expressions, acceptance, and demands of Love. She hopes to apply the Love lessons learned not just to her dating habits but also to her interactions with family and friends in hopes of starting a cycle of healthy relationships for herself and those around her. Follow her on twitter @CocoaQueenK

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I was having one of my euphoria attacks.  Yes, they really occur.  Well, they do with me anyway.  I get really giddy and excited, unable to contain my energy.  I then release the energy in restless activity or giggles or spurts of awkward activities like a random twerk session by myself.  These spurts I call “spazzing.”excitedblackwoman

It was a Saturday afternoon and I laid sprawled across my boyfriend’s bed prepared to spazz from a pager-turning thriller I could not put down (one of the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child).  He was preparing to engross himself into the game and we both knew that the Playoff’s trumped almost anything else.  Seeing the signs of my attack before it became full-fledged, he decided it would be best for us both if he contained it.

“Babe,” he said while I jiggled my leg impatiently, wanting to skip ahead a few pages in the book but knowing I could never do that.

When my eyes met his, he held my gaze long enough for my leg to stop jiggling before continuing.

“Just chill out.”

Three words.  And yet, they calmed me.  Maybe it was his tone or his eyes, both of which were serious and yet dripping with sincerity and concern.

I smiled sheepishly and returned to my book.  But, a paragraph later, I found myself watching him watch the game.  I can’t name a particular day or time when I fell in love with him.  But, I did.

Twerk1The peace he provided during my “moment” was a peace that has encompassed our entire relationship so far.  In the past, my relationships and not-quite-relationships came with some underlying turmoil.  I have always been in conflict. In every relationship, I found myself pining for something more.  Attention, affection, honesty… something.

My boyfriend and I are approaching our 9 month anniversary.  So far in I haven’t felt any urge to panic.  Although we argue and have our “moments,”  I draw a blank when sitting and wondering how he’s not satisfying.  In interactions with love interests of the past, it hardly ever took much thought.  I found myself exhausted from squeezing a relationship together with glue.  I often felt the relationship was one-sided blackloveand thought the more I would do, the more they would do.  (i.e., if I blow up his phone, he will realize how much I really want to talk to stay in contact with me and call me sometime too).  When I sat still, all my insecurities and ignored issues would bubble to the surface.  And, usually, when I let go, the glue would dissolve.

But with this guy, that’s not the case.

I think the secret to this happiness so far is that we are honest.  Even when it doesn’t necessarily come out right.  Even when it sparks an argument.  I’ve never had this honest of a relationship before.  And this honesty isn’t just about how we feel about each other but how we feel about ourselves too.  We talk about our feelings (doing this doesn’t have to be as effeminate as it sounds).

I’m not saying that we have everything down pat.  Sometimes, we focus more on what the other didn’t say than what he/she actually said.  Sometimes, we end a heated discussion with a “FINE!” and sit in stony silence before trying again.  And sometimes we don’t even get to the heated discussion part — we, instead, opt for the stony silence until we realize that it doesn’t provide any solace.

But, as I sat there watching him watch the game, I knew that I knew the man sitting next to me.  And he knew me.  And, after everything that we knew, we still gave the other a sense of peace.

I never knew there was a love like this before.

‘When You Know, You Just Know’ & Other Love Lies


TianaNaveen

“I always imagined this magical moment where the world stops, jazz music plays in the background, and I lock eyes with a beautiful stranger whom, somehow, I’ve known my whole life”

I always imagined this magical moment where the world stops, jazz music plays in the background, and I lock  eyes with a beautiful stranger whom, somehow, I’ve known my whole life. Neither of us needs to exchange any real words. We already mutually understand–instinctively of course–that this is the last relationship we will ever have. He asks for my number and 3 months later we’re married with 2.5 kids. There aren’t any arguments on marriage timelines or how we want to raise our kids. There aren’t any doubts and questionable habits that make you wonder if God seriously intends for a person to mate with just one other human being for life. And there certainly aren’t any intermediary break-ups where both people questioned their rightness for one another. Because, as they say, “when you know, you just know”.

But the day I met Mr. Right-For-Now looked absolutely nothing like what “they say”.

Princess-And-The-Frog-movie-705124 So I kept waiting for the magic “aha” moment when I would suddenly “just know”. It didn’t happen when he first professed his Love for me in a poem.It didn’t happen when I found myself crying gleefully in the shower, overwhelmed by my Love for him. It didn’t happen when he began to break down his emotional barriers just to be with me. It didn’t happen when I chose to put more trust and faith in him than I’ve put in anyone besides myself. It’s been exactly 2 years, 9 months, and 12 hours. And that moment has NEVER happened. I’ve never been completely-absolutely-without-a- shadow-of-a-doubt certain that Mr. Right-For-Now is the only soul on earth for me. So naturally, I began to think my uncertainty means he’s not the one. You know, like that awkward moment when you kiss the frog expecting a prince and he turns into a frog too?  I never got to the fairy-tale “when you know, you just know” moment like they said I would.

Then. Everything changed.

Recently, I had lunch with a married mentor of mine and he gave me the most practical bit of insider information. He said, and I’m paraphrasing, certainty is simply an emotion. Therefore, it changes with the wind. When something happens that we’re happy about, we’re sure that a person is for us. When things don’t go the way we thought they would go, then we start to doubt. He assured me that I would never be completely certain because knowing is just a feeling. Today, I may feel like Mr. Right-For-Now is the best decision I ever made. Other days, I might feel like I made a mistake. And that’s normal. But none of it truly matters because marriage requires you to Love another person in spite of how you may feel on a day-to-day basis.

TianaI sat there, mouth agape staring into the distance. At first, I just sat there blankly. Then something snapped inside and I became ANGRY–bloodthirsty almost. Who the fuck came up with that bullshit “when you know, you just know” then, I wondered. I’d waited my whole romantic life for a certainty that would never come!!! I felt bamboozled like a little kid waiting up for Santa only to discover mommy and daddy putting toys under the tree, drinking the milk, and eating the goddamned cookies. I mean next you’ll be telling me a couple can’t really have 2.5 kids!!! This was BY FAR the biggest Love lie of them all since happily ever after. And suddenly I hated every Disney movie and romantic comedy I’d ever seen (except Crazy, Stupid, Love. Completely unhateable movie). Especially the ones where the girl or guy leaves their current girl or guy to be with some other girl or guy that they JUST KNEW they were supposed to be with instead (think Maid in Manhattan or The Princess and the Frog). LIES! LIES! LIES!

When the anger dissipated, I realized how blessed I was to come into this piece of wisdom. My mentor pointed out a most convenient Frogandfrogtiananaveentruth to me. That as humans, we’re too fickle to really know anything. Even our facts are debatable and up to interpretation. Life, by definition, is too unpredictable to know. Mike Tyson once stated, “everyone has a plan ’til they get hit”. And suddenly all of my uncertainty made sense. I only felt unsure whenever he and I faced an issue that seemed unlikely to yield my desired outcome. Him and I, we aren’t perfect. We go THROUGH things. Yet Hollywood likes to paint this picture that Love is easy with the right person (another LIE). So why all this pressure on two romantic partners to know without a doubt that they’re meant to be together?

I decided after that lunch to take the unrealistic pressure off my boo and I. We don’t have to know. But  if you cannot know for certain, then what’s left? You can believe! And I believe, and have believed for a long time, that I am made for Mr. Right-For-Now. He believes he’s made for me. And that’s enough. In the end, I did have one of those Disney moments where I learned I already had what I’d been waiting for all along. Faith in Love is enough.

THE END.

Too Adorable Not to Share


black_childrenWe’ve all heard tales of the divine yet candid wisdom of children. A child’s mind knows enough about the world to have an opinion on it and remains pure enough that we can assume the absolute best of their intentions. So naturally, I laughed aloud when I stumbled on Chris Hughes’ “How Do You Decide Who to Marry”, from the mouths of babes. But it simultaneously provoked thought and held insight. Their truth is contagious. So without further adieu, enjoy!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

by Chris Hughes 

A group of young kids were asked how to decide who to marry and here are the results which are pretty amusing.

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
Kids-Say-the-Darndest-Things-Cosby-Bill-9780553581263HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead Brothers Arm in Armcolumns.
-Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8
little-black-childIS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
– Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10

I Just Want to Be Your Lovergirl: 7 Reasons Why I Love My Relationship


I need your Love and I won’t bring no pain

A little birdie told me that you feel the same

I’m for the real, and for you, I’m true blue

Let’s make a deal, sugar, all I want to do

Is be your one and only lover

I just want to be your Lovergirl

I just want to rock your world

black-couple5God put me on this Earth to rock some man’s world. Probably Mr. Right-For-Now’s. And you know what? I’m Loving every minute of it. Sure he gets on my nerves. Sometimes I feel bored and restless. I mess up. He messes up. We argue. But at the end of the day, there’s far more good than bad so I am PROUD of me and my baby. We’ve traveled a good distance since our start. And I couldn’t have handpicked a better partner to ease on down, ease on down the road with (IDK I guess I’m just in a music mood today. I’m writing this while watching VH1 Soul). Frankly, I Love us. And at the risk of sounding egotistical, conceited, or cheesy, I wanted to share some of the reasons why I Love us. BTW, I strongly urge you to read this post while listening to the embedded video at the bottom. This is a rock out for Love kind of post, if there’s any such thing!!!

(7) We Encourage One Another to Follow Our Dreams

For many of my acquaintances, achieving in your career and in your Love life at the same damn time is a balancing triumph worth adding to the act at UniverSOUL circus. Having both, like the Obamas, became an obscure almost unheard of thing to ooooh and ahhhhh at. And yet, Mr. Right-For-Now and I spend a lot of time making sure we don’t step on one another’s career toes. We check-in and communicate when one feels jealous of the other’s success (yes, it DOES happen). We ask for what we need from one another to get certain things done. Then, we take turns. Sometimes things are about him. Sometimes things are about me. No, neither of us are nearly as accomplished as we want to be yet. But we’ve gotten to the point where we rest assured each new grind works better for the pair. If I’m a bird, he’s a bird and if he flies, I fly.

(6) We’re Growing Up Together

As much of a grown ass woman I might have thought I was, there’s nothing like my baby’s Love to actually grow me up. It’s easy to say “I’m mature”, “I’m patient”, or “I’m faithful” when there’s no one around to press your buttons, no one you have to wait on, and nothing tempting you to cheat. My relationship is the proverbial check my mouth wrote that my ass now has to cash. Since the moment we met, we’ve been pulling each other’s cards. Mr. Right-For-Now always had this uncanny ability to see me. Some lessons you only learn from a Lover because he or she knows you like no one else will ever know you. And since we’re both young and malleable, we are SO willing to work on ourselves to satisfy the other’s needs.

(5) We Never Back Down from a Challenge

Happy-black-couple-300x199Since day one, Mr. Right-For-Now and I sensed that this relationship thing wouldn’t be easy. I mean our first couple of months–you know the months where everything is supposed to be crazy.stupid.love–we were long distance. Whomp whomp. Killjoy right? Actually wrong. Though incredibly arduous and emotionally draining, the distance gave us the space we needed to get other things sorted out in our lives outside of one another.  We learned resourcefulness, gratitude, and creativity. Going through that fortified us. So now when him and I face an ugly, undesirable challenge, we both pull out every weapon in our arsenal to get the job done. Kind of like Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

(4) We Communicate Well

Mr. Right-For-Now’s my best buddy and a great friend. I can call him up right now and say “okay I need you to hear me out as my friend, not my boyfriend” and he’ll try his damndest. Sometimes we just sit in the bed together saying the silliest things holding the weirdest conversations like two kids making up their own language. We understand one another. And even when we aren’t on the same page, we take the time to get back on the same page. With complete transparency and honesty, I feel like I can tell him absolutely anything. At this point, I think we have said pretty much EVERYTHING anyway–good, bad, and indifferent. Communicating is one key to Love we’ve already got on our keyring.

(3) We’re Self-Aware

We know what our problems are both individually and collectively. We have a running list (it’s actually not long) and prioritized the things on it. What needs to get done now? What can wait? What things can we live with? Some parts of our relationship, we run like you might run a healthy business. But that works for us. Neither of us are afraid to do what works for US whether that be reading books, going to therapy, conferencing with friends. It doesn’t matter. Even though it often looks different from what works for others or from what we see others doing, we know ourselves and we know our Love.

(2) We Make Intimacy Important

black-coupleLet’s just say that if there’s a meeting in my bedroom, Mr. Right-For-Now is never late. And I probably don’t mean that how you’re thinking it. What I Love so much about our intimate life is how we committed to connecting with one another in every way that you can connect with another human being. Into-Me-See means everything from talking quietly in bed to catching one another’s eye at the family functions. It’s always like there’s some inside joke that only the two of us know about. It’s metaphysical foreplay that never ends. We passionately pursue sexual, spiritual, mental, and emotional oneness.

(1) We’re Not Perfect But We Are Though

I’m bitchy. He’s an asshole. I go to bed late. He wakes up early. I wear my heart on my sleeve. He keeps his tucked away. We’ve experienced and expressed the full gamut of negative human emotions–jealousy, mistrust, insecurity, arrogance… But we make it work. Two imperfect souls perfected through fearless Love. Nothing more and nothing less. What’s better than that? Nothing!

When it’s all said and done, I just want to be his Lovergirl. I just want to rock his world! Love you boo <3. And this songs for you.

What About Your Friends?

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Queenie K is new to the revolutionary concept of Love. As she grows and matures in the revolution, she looks to strengthen and refine her expressions, acceptance, and demands of Love. She hopes to apply the Love lessons learned not just to her dating habits but also to her interactions with family and friends in hopes of starting a cycle of healthy relationships for herself and those around her. Follow her on twitter @CocoaQueenK

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tlc-what_about_your_friends(1)“So, she told you about what happened.”

Those were the words said, in the drunk and teasing voice of one my close girl friends, to my boyfriend.  Those were the words that pretty much ended his birthday kickback.  My friend didn’t realize the effect her words had.  When she noticed he wasn’t amused, she apologized and walked back into the kitchen with everyone else.

I, however, stayed in the living room to try to sort things out with him.

She didn’t need to explain the “what”.  Him and I had already discussed it before.  My past.  An evening with another guy. At another kickback she had attended with me.  Over a year ago.  And yet, to my boyfriend it could have been yesterday.

martin_tv_show_20_years

In the sitcom Martin, the young couple was able to pull their friends together despite the bickering between Martin and Pam.

I had laid my past out on the table to him once we became serious.  Laid it out in preparation for situations just like this one.  I would never want to find out something about him from someone else.  So, I provided him the same courtesy, offering up a brief account of my encounters. Except, he couldn’t seem to get over it.  And it didn’t help that my friends, after a few too many drinks, loved to reminiscence.  It also didn’t help that my boyfriend and I had already argued two other times in the week and were beginning to reach a consensus that we didn’t care much for each others’ friends. The words of the current argument, which began with him demanding to know why my friend would ever bring something like that up to him but especially tonight, spiraled into an alcohol-induced turbulent funnel.  At the eye of the storm was one recurrent theme: Our Friends.

For him, my friends were my past personified.  For me, his were often too uncouth.  At times, our friends seemed to be on two extremes on a scale of Ratchet–with the two of us meeting each other in the middle.

The party ended early, with each of us retreating to our own spaces.  It was the first time that we didn’t make up before going to bed.

How important is the relationship between your friends and your significant other?  Pam and Martin never got along and yet, they were both still there for Gina.  But, of course, that’s scripted.  How likely is that in the real world?

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