Note from the editor:
“Yo your wife is bad son,” is probably one of the best compliments a man feels he can receive. It shows that he knows how to pick ’em and keep ’em. We must be clear that looks are not the sole nor main reason to wife a girl. But they do play an important role. When you see attractive women daily, you need to be able to resist the temptation. Being satisfied with how your lady looks will help buffer daily testosterone outbreaks. Find someone who you’re proud to make your girl. Wife her because you are happy coming home to her face everyday.
(2) Attractive Personality.
Uh-oh, everybody just got quiet. This is the most important factor in wifing her. This is also the most complex of all the reasons. To start out, knowing what personality traits you find attractive begins with knowing yourself (PREACH!) Once we know what we like, don’t like, can tolerate, can’t tolerate, need, and expect, then we can decide what personalities are poppin’ to us. What I like may not be what you like. I like girls who are ambitious and funny. You may like the girl who is lazy and corny. To each his own, ya dig? But seriously, all of us, male and female, need to know ourselves first. So do some soul searching. Be real to yourself because if you can’t keep it real with yourself, how can you expect to keep it real with anybody else?
(3) Common Interests.
I actually got this from my uncle this past 4th of July weekend when I asked what keeps him and his wife of 49 years together. Find things that both of you like. You don’t have to enjoy everything each other does. But make sure that some of the things you genuinely enjoy doing, she likes doing–or can at least happily tolerate. And vice versa. If my girl loves to dance, listen to music, and praise the Lord (Hallelujah!), then she’s in the running for me. If she likes Rick Ross as an artist/entertainer/person, WE WON’T WORK! Certain interests say things about a person. It doesn’t matter what you two have in common just make sure that the things that are most fun to you, you can still do while she’s around.
Why did the fish get kicked out of school? He got caught with Sea-weed. If you and your partner can’t laugh together, you might as well kiss the whole relationship goodbye. SERIOUSLY. Sometimes she just needs to smile and the simplest way to a smile is through a laugh. If you’ve ever connected with a woman on that level you know what I’m talking about. You can laugh just by looking at each other. Make sure you two share a similar humor; this will make difficult times a lot easier.
(5) Financial Humility.
Yeah, she makes money but she doesn’t throw it in your face. She still allows you to be a man and doesn’t let your (sometimes pitiful) attempts to financially provide for her go unappreciated. If she makes more than you, she doesn’t make you feel inadequate. She knows she doesn’t need you to pay for everything but she still recognizes how important it is to have a man in her life. And she lets you fill that void.
This is a make or break. If she is the type of woman who is too scared to be herself, regardless of who she’s around, this woman will lose out on a lot of good men. She must express herself (WITH TACT) and have confidence in her beliefs. She can’t be too shy. We ALL have to remember that no one can judge us but God–so stop worrying about what the next person thinks. PSA: You find self-esteem from your SELF. Not from any organization you join, any magazine you subscribe to, or any clothes and make-up you wear. Self-esteem comes from knowing yourself flaws and all, accepting it, and having the courage to be who God made you to be. Stop trying to be someone else. It is not sexy. Wife her because she’s confident in her own mind, body, and spirit.
This is the woman with strong moral values. She loves hard. She doesn’t hate. Difficult to imagine but they exist. It takes a certain amount of life experience and growth for anyone to even reach this level. A woman with integrity is the one who is beautiful from every angle AND faithful as a mug. Once you build trust with her, it takes a lot to break it. I’m not saying she’s incapable of infidelity, lying, or what-have-you. But she will come to you and honestly confess her faults. A real man can only respect the way she goes about it because he knows no one is perfect. Her honesty is attractive. Knowing and trusting in her morals allows you to feel secure even when she’s backstage at the Trey Songz concert (DAAAYUM!! That’s extreme). You can be confident that even if something happens that may upset you, she will at least tell you about it. And that’s the most we can ask for. But it goes both ways. If we want these characteristics in a woman, we have to act the same way. Perfection is impossible but keeping honesty at the center of a relationship is damn good.
(8) Positive Support.
Often people will try to pass their negativity off as “realism.” True, as men we need to be smart and logical in our decisions and adventures. But if a man has a dream he wants support from his woman–NOT all the reasons why he shouldn’t do it. Encourage her to be critical of you but don’t allow her pessimism and fear to stop you from reaching your goals. As (black) men, there are already enough outside factors deterring us from believing in ourselves so we need positive inspiration in our romantic relationships to succeed. Wife her because she wants to see you grow.